just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
