You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
