i was born a porn star she said
You smell like stripper and shame
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
