I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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