I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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