She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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