I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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