Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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