Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
How external is "for external use only"?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
