What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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