I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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