They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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