I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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