My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
