I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
