i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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