somebody snuck up and got me drunk
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
