i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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