i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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