Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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