after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
