I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
