Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
