that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
