I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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