Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
