I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
