I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
