I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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