we have officially lost it.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Randomize
