I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Randomize
