His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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