k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
