You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
