all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
honey bunches of taint.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
