i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
