i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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