Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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