Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
