Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
she pinky promised me she was 18
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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