dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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