just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
