I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
