My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
