perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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