I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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