I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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