Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
