this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
