Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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