Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
