Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Can I color on your dick again?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
NoShamevember. You game?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
