Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You don't make any sense
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